Friday, 6 September 2013

Keep your eye on the Prize

Recovering a child with autism or sensory problems requires thick skin.  You will get angry, sad, overwhelmed.  But the trick is to keep your eye on the prize:  Recovery.

Don’t get derailed.  Don’t get angry.  Don’t wallow in self-pity too long because your child needs you.  Ask yourself one question…”Am I doing this based on emotion or because it will help my child?”  If your actions will not help your child…you need to stop and redirect.

There will be doctors that don’t believe you.  Don’t get mad.  It is not your job to educate them on what you believe.  All physicians are good at something.  Use their strengths.  Use several doctors.  Use a combination of therapists, nutritionists, mainstream & biomed doctors.  They all have something to offer, even if it is only the fact that you need to look elsewhere.

You will be tired and feel overwhelmed.  Ask for help.  People will say no (or yes and not follow through) but some will help you when you need it most.  And when your child is better, you can pay it forward. 

Others will judge you when your child misbehaves repeatedly.  Don’t be embarrassed and don’t get angry.  They simply don’t understand.  Until they have walked a day in your shoes…they won’t understand.  Let it go.  Let it go….

There will be roadblocks.  Services will be hard to come by.  Do what you have to do….apply for grants, pay out of pocket, do therapy at home, read, read, read….research, research, research.  Make it happen.  Don’t take no for an answer but be polite.  Always be polite.  As they say, you catch more flies with honey.

You will have to be tough.  There will be several blood draws where you have to hold your child down.  But labs are the only true way to know what is happening in your child’s body…so it is non-negotiable.  Treating the underlying medical problem is key.  And the child needs to heal from the inside out.  So put on that brave face….tell your screaming baby that it will be over soon and they will get a prize.  You will want to cry.  You will want to scream right along with them but you can’t.  You need to be strong.

You will have to find a way to feed your child who is desperately picky.  And you will have to avoid the foods that make them sick.   Just finding those triggers can be difficult.  It requires a lot of creativity, time and coaxing.  But the payoff is huge.   Keep your eye on the prize.

You will have to take risks.  You will have to take leaps of faith.  Sometimes it will pay off and sometimes it won’t.  If it doesn’t, recognize that fact and move on.  Don’t stay with a doctor or therapist out of obligation. Your only obligation is to your child’s recovery.

Lastly, people won’t believe you.  They will say that you didn’t witness your child interacting and speaking words and then lose them following vaccination, or antibiotics or a virus.  They will say that the vaccination did not cause your child’s seizures or GI problems.  It doesn’t matter. You know better.  You witnessed it.  Once your child is better, they will say that your child never had autism to begin with…or…it was never actually that bad.  It doesn’t matter.  You will know.  You will know what you have endured to get here.  And your baby will be improved.  Happier.  Healthier. 

That’s all that matters.

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